Trying to find my way back to normal when it’s right next to me…three scoops.

So yeah, sorry folks.  Been moping, grieving, and all that jazz, and my son did a very Chris’fer thing to bring me out of my funk.  He hammed it up with charm and style, and gently reminded me we have some ZOMG Smells scents to try that have sat unloved a while.

“Hurrah, hurrah step right up to Dr. ZOMG’s amazing Summer Scoop Shoppe!

There’s delights to tickle even the most discerning of palettes, so hurry on over and sample them today, for they won’t last…no folks, they’re practically running out the door now!

While you’re at it, take a gander in that there tent for some amazing sights that are simply out-of-this-world, I say out-of-this-world…a rare, one-of-a-kind Spacebat, the amazing Rocketfrog, and the elusive LH Squeezel.  Let’s go blasting off again!

(Do what I did…imagine a auburn haired, blue hazel eyed Angel decked out in candy stripe shirt, bold striped vest, boater hat, dark trousers and shoes, and a fancy cane.  That’s what I did when he began his schtick…then I fell off my chair laughing)

Ice Cream Soda: Honey Lavender

In the Bottle: Sharp Astringent Lavender, and a sweet fizz.

On me: Holy Wow. The soda bubbles I imagine tickling my nose.
Ice cream, sweet and creamy, is a lovely Lavender cream, with honey drizzled on top.

Oh dear God, I want some.

It’s absolutely divine. It has amazing lasting power, unlike BPAL’s honey note, it keeps on going.

I adore this!

I adore everything about this!

On my son:  Take what it smells like on me, and amp delicious.  Lil stinker.

Blood Orange Creamsicle

In the Bottle:  Wow. This is complex…and familiar. It reminds me of everything I love about Tapputi, so much so, I had to grab my aged bottle and sniff compare them.  They are very similar to my nose, only swap grapefruits with rich, juicy blood oranges and add a scoop of buttery Vanilla ice cream instead of currants.

{Tapputi is from their 2013 Sweet Scientist collection.
Notes:  Ambergris, tamarind, frankincense, red currant and white grapefruit. We thought about using her recipe, but…she got there first. Dibs, yknow?}

On me: All resemblance to Tapputi vanishes. Where Tapputi was Sun-kissed citrus and a refreshing very lightly spicy muskiness to it.  It made me cry when I wore it, as it smelled like the first grown-up perfume my Grandmother gifted me, a signature scent of one of the original Charlie’s Angels, Jaclyn Smith.
After it was reformulated, it never smelled the same.  Tapputi is everything that California was to me, and I treasure every drop of it.

This one is vibrant, sweet, and creamy, like a Dreamsicle, with a more mature edge.  Like if you drizzled Solerno and Gran Marnier over a primo scoop of freshly churned Blue Bell(in my mind, the quintessential buttery vanilla ice cream), you have a sort of idea of it.  It’s a skin scent, so unless you are really close, or I happen to run a wand through my hair, you might not notice it, which is fine when I wear Summery fragrances like this.

On my son:  Dreamsicles.  My little stinker always smells delicious.
He says it reminds him of the orange and cream bars I used to make him when I couldn’t afford to get the ones already made.

All in all, it’s a very Summery, refreshing scent.
It makes me want to sit with my son on his red Coca-Cola swing and eat Dreamsicles and talk about the good-old days.

Devil’s Food

In the bottle: Chocolate. A great big fountain of chocolate.

On me: Rich chocolate cake. Really primo icing too.

This is one of those “Gimme the cake, and nobody gets hurt!” sort of scents. It reminded me of my weekly visits to my Grandmother’s and her surprise cakes. She always made moist, rich, delicious cakes, and her devil’s food was the best. I’m glad my son got to experience it.

I’m going to layer this with the previous scent for a chocolate orange bit of decadence.

On my son: How is it possible that a delicious scent could possibly smell better? Put it on my son, that’s how. Too delicious for words. He’s threatened to send me to my room if I didn’t quit hovering.

So in short, get eleventybillion bottles of this, if you have any room in your room after buying elevenybillion bottles of Honey Lavender Ice Cream Soda, and Blood Orange Creamsicle.

This next one is just my son’s review, as he smelled Strawberry, and I sadly, cannot be a part of Strawberries world…I’m allergic to it, and he worries about a skin reaction(I’d say I’m not crying, but you know how much of a lousy liar I am regarding my tiny human bundle of amazing and how I’m not crying about it).

Ice Cream Soda:  Neapolitan

In the Bottle:  He says it smells fizzy and sweet…triple scoop sweet.

On him:  Wow.  Yeah, three scoops of fresh churned ice cream. Decadent, buttery Vanilla Bean, so incredibly rich, luscious, velvety Milk Chocolate, and Red, ripe, juicy Strawberries blended into a creamy sweet scoop of perfection.  Take these and put an amazing fizzy creamy cream soda with them.  That’s how amazing it smells.  I can’t hug him until this either fades, or he takes a bath…he smells absolutely divinely delicious.  I’m close to being sent to my room until I calm down…he smells yummy!

Yes, you do, you want eleventybillion bottles of this, though I sadly cannot.

To complete my collection of fun and delicious, I have two classics and a brand-new scent to add a bit of cute to his Carnival of Sweet Science.

Spacebat

Never forget March 15, 2009. On that day, a small free-tailed bat clung resolutely to the space shuttle Discovery and rose through the Earth’s atmosphere to the vastness beyond on a billowing plume of flame. No creature has ever died a more glorious death, or lived so purely the dream that pulled our distant ancestors up from the oceans and into the skies. While Spacebat’s body did not survive his flight to the stars, his dream lives on in all of us.

The scent of a soul slipping the surly bonds of earth for the stars above. Mission accomplished.

Cave stone and memorial myrrh lifted by nutmeg and delicate leather wings.

In the Bottle: Very reverential, the spice, cave scent, and fuzzy, leathery bat scent mingling with Myrrh.  Not quite sorrow, but more a memorial.

On me: Considering we have visited both Mammoth Caves and Inner Space Caverns, it smells exactly like…

“Nanananananananana”

“Hush!”

“Go on, say it Mommy!  It smells like the Batman in the Batcave!”

“Hush!”

“Never gonna…”

“…see outside if you finish that sentence child mine.”

On my son: Fine, he smells like Batman in the Batcave.

*smug grin*

Rocket Frog

When one creature reaches for the stars, we all do. On September 6, 2013, the launch of the Lunar Atmosphere and Dust Environment Explorer (LADEE) propelled Rocket Frog into a new world.

Her time aloft with LADEE was all too brief. Her reach outward–who can say what she reached for? Help? Something familiar? Anything other than the whirling flame of a rocket launch? Reasonable things all. But reach she did, and we like to think that in Rocket Frog’s outstretched arms is a metaphor for others who have found themselves thrust into difficult and dire circumstances they would not have chosen for themselves. Rocket Frog’s flight was the flight of someone unaware, unqualified, and unprepared for greatness–and it was a mighty flight. We applaud her.

This is the cool green watery scent of a frog home. A calm base before the fireball.

In the Bottle:  Very lovely aquatic…lightly floral.

On me: It’s–

“Ribbit ribbit.”

“Fine.”

I swear he’s taken several chapters out of my brother’s book on how to troll me.

On my son: It’s just froggy on my son too. Nyah!

LH Squeezel

In the bottle:  Cute, furry, fizzy, electric.

On me and my son both…he says it smells like cute and furry, fuzzy ginger ale.  It’s so adorable, and lasts ages.

 

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from ZOMG Smells.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

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So, because my son has reminded me of my brother so very much as we reviewed and wrote this up, I’ll post again about my brother with a bit of humour regarding the fundraiser my sister is doing for his family, and a few funnies at my expense:

Since my brother was a huge gamer nerd, I’ll phrase it thus:

$2,500 Achievement unlocked:  My Brother-in-law is going shopping in a banana costume.

$3,500 Achievement unlocked:  My Brother-in-law is going shopping in a Pink Nightgown and rollers.

$4,500 Achievement(not yet met):  My Brother-in-law is going shopping as a Disney Princess(my son and I vote Princess Jasmine).

My brother, in addition to being the sweetest, loving, kind-hearted, most generous young man I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing, was a very witty, punny guy with a strange, warped sense of humour.  I know he’d take great pleasure in all of this…possibly even engineer it so certain goals were…suddenly met at just the right time.  Yup, my Brother-in-law is going down!

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He and my sister were twins, though born years apart.  There were times I couldn’t decipher where his ideas began and hers ended.  They constantly pulled pranks on me, between him waking me up with a bugle call on his trumpet, and her finishing with a sweet but amusing bit on her Violin, to rearranging the kitchen and hiding everything I bought to make dinner with…usually in plain sight.  Their excuse to our Mother when she asked why they did thus to me(while hiding her laugh behind a hand) was, “We were saving you from the tummyache Mom!  You know she’s a horrible cook!”

I couldn’t stay angry for long.  They always have looked out for me in the most amusing ways…

…my little sister getting me used to traveling by making me drive in Downtown Chicago during Rush Hour(I have always been uneasy about driving, as I tend to get lost inside a wet paper bag) before she left home, my little brother pushing me to get help with my depression when I quit interacting with friends by threatening to hire clowns to visit daily and pitch pies at me to cheer me up.  It took exactly two pies to get me…motivated.  Then they hit me with a few more…”Because it’s funny.”

I think I can finally write again, but I’m going to post a bit more of my memories at the ends of these for a while.

 

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Where love and grief collide

I normally censor my journal, blog thing here, and keep talk light and silly…and private.  Full of anecdotes of my son, and the people I deal with.  Full of reviews of amazing, wondrous perfumes and bodycare.

Today, I’m breaking that rule.

On Saturday, I lost my brother.  It was unexpected.  It was sudden.  It knocked the breath out of me.

My Mother and Father, living separate lives, are grieving like very few could understand.  While I suffered several miscarriages, the grief I experienced was a small thing in comparison.  This is me, personally.  Not everyone can compare grief in this manner.  I get to navigate this and try to comprehend it all.

My little sister, who was closer in age to him, is shouldering a mountain of grief while trying to help maintain several peace treaties, and assist with details.  I’m amazed at her quiet strength, and fierce determination.

My brother was charming, disarming, snarky, witty, irreverent, and so full of life and love.

He’d do almost anything for a lemon-meringue pie, and was constantly turning up the heat when I was cooking spicy foods(“Toofur, that was one Cayenne, not six scorpion peppers!”). When going out to dinner, he’d have dessert first so he’d always have room for it. He knew just the right things to say to get me to make him the previously mentioned lemon-meringue pie, or to convince me to do something I perhaps scratch that, something I adamantly didn’t want to do.

He helped pick me back up when it all fell apart…and I’m pretty damned heavy!
He became the most amazing role model for my son, the best Uncle anyone could have.
He was also a husband and father of the highest caliber.

Everyone who ever met him pretty much either wanted to be friends with him…or deck him, then have a beer with him…or both!

There’s a Chris’fer shaped hole in my heart, and life will never be the same.

His family was everything. If you can help, awesome.

If you can’t, it’s fine, but please do me one incredibly important favour:

Please, please, please go hug your loved ones and tell them how much they mean to you. Call your folks and just say I love you. Tuck your kids in tonight(even if they might be too old for that). And send a little kind thought or prayer for my brother’s family.

I miss you ya smegging fungus!

I will be back to my usual shenanigans soon.  Right now, I need to figure out how to help my son who idolised my brother grieve…all while I figure out how to do it.

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I’m a girly girl, patent shenanigans, and life with depression

So, I realise I’ve been neglecting my writing again.  It’s inexcusable I know, but for a while, I didn’t care.  Depression is an ugly thing, compounded by daily life.

I’ve tried all the suggestions…that die with a ‘t’ thing…going paleo, going gluten-free, going carb-free(which not only didn’t help, it actually made me depressed that I gained a lot of weight.  I thought eliminating processed foods, carbs, and gluten was supposed to help you lose weight.  All of my Celiac friends here are free to chuckle knowingly, and know this last bit is pure sarcasm).

Mild exercise reminded me of injuries not healed, but I stubbornly clung onto the pain as something other than feeling depressed.  Yoga has been painful, and I’ve put a halt on it until I lose the weight I piled on trying those ‘nutritional adjustment’ suggestions.  Walking in Sunshine(which actually made it worse).  I know that for a lot of folks, SAD is helped by good old-fashioned sunshine, and a few minutes in the sun(or at a fake-and bake salon), help.  I get depressed when it’s Springy, Summery nice weather, and we never got even five seconds of snow this past Winter.

Not having a physician in the new neighbourhood means I don’t have my medicine.  The new doctors want to run a battery of tests, the same ones, in fact, that I went through back home.  I cannot afford them.  Insurance doesn’t cover redundant tests that they already deemed extravagant the last time, though reluctantly, they paid a whopping 60% of the bills, because it meant I wasn’t going to file about my depression if I was happy and productive, because it saves them money.  If the insurance accepted my physicians from back homes decision that I have mild seasonal depression that’s treatable with a bare minimum of medicine and therapy, why can’t they accept it?

So anyway, I’m doing this as though I don’t know what’s going on.  But I do.  I do.

TROLLCAT has been amazing in all this, being sweet and lovable(especially with his fave kitty jerky in easy reach).  He’s noticed.

My child has been amazing in all this, giving me space interwoven with hugs and love.

I truly have zero reasons to be depressed.  Kiddo is doing well in school, though sad and a touch fearful about a new school next year.  He gets to go after a dream he’s had since the age of three, hearing Joshua Bell play a very upscaled version of this:

IMG_20160510_1931049_rewind_kindlephoto-938655456

I have no reason to be depressed.  Yet here I am, days on end, sobbing for no reason at all, the act of getting out of bed some days is a chore, as is the urge to return to it until my child returns from school.

Depression is an ugly thing.

Meditation works when my brain doesn’t start talking a mile a minute.  I have found, however, that if I combine meditation with positive scent, and memory, it helps.

For me, these perfumes are a nod to what my medicine did, as it boosts the chemicals in my brain that govern emotional response.  It’s not perfect, as you need powerful memories and a powerful willpower to ignore DOUBT, which feeds on your depressive state.  Oddly enough, today I was reminded of an old Looney Toons intro that fits how many adults deal with depression…they act like nothing is wrong.  If you change it slightly, it can actually turn the crushing weight into something manageable.  Just alter your perception a smidge.

So on with the show this is it!

The lovely Miss Ariel at ZOMG Smells has no idea how much a 5ml amber apothecary bottle of her creations means to me.

Earth and Heaven, is earthy, which reminds me of gardening with my Mother and Grandmother at varying happy times during childhood.  It’s like damp peat moss and fresh black soil just as it begins to rain, or if you spray it with the sprinklers…then run your toes through it.  Take that and add cacao hull mulch over it, and the scent of Adam’s Clove gum, with a gentle Frankincense note that fast-forwards time and reminds me of Christmas, and huge drifts of fluffy white snow, with the clove pinched into hot chocolate, and the potting soil for the amaryllis.  Heavenly scent that keeps me grounded and centered.

Xocolatl is quite literally, the scent of spiced hot chocolate, made with heavy cream, the cocoa powder and sweeties mixed in, then top it with fresh grated cinnamon, nutmeg, and cardamom…at least this week it is.

This is the next masterpiece from Dr. ZOMG’s Emporium of Fine Olfactory Refreshers(my son came up with it, and I had to teach him how to sound like a carnival barker)

Dr. ZOMG’s Extremely Reliable Callipygian Embiggener

Miss Ariel in rare form, and I’m so hearing this in a carny barkers voice:

Dr. Zomg’s Extremely Reliable Callipygian Embiggener is without a doubt a triumph of form: your triumph, and your form. It represents countless picoseconds of research and purely mental footwork by the illustrious and fully accredited Dr. Zomg* and her hapless assistant**, culminating in this purity of motion*** contained in a tiny jar also known as a bottle****. If you put this substance on your skin, you will immedibately feel moderately damp in the precise location of application. Do not be concerned! This is merely a sign that it is working. Soon, with the proper mindset and repeated diligence, you too will know the glory that so many seek– greater callipyginity. Nay, perhaps even increased amounts of callipygination! Others will immediately begin to consider you more callipyginous***** (especially the ancient Greeks– yes, this product is effective even across the centuries, upon philosphers, playwrights, heterae and statesmen long dead!). Know this and rejoice.

THIS IS A REAL PRODUCT.******

* not actually a doctor

** pretty hapless, though

*** it only moves if you shake it. Don’t shake it with the cap off

**** yep. It’s in a bottle

***** but they might not say anything about it, because they’re shy

****** actually, it is a real product you can order. From here. Although it won’t do anything to your butt

My son asked me what callipygian meant.  I channeled Meghan Trainor…and Sir Mix-a-lot.  When he learned the answer, he facepalmed.

This has got to be the girliest girly-girl thing I own.

It’s a freaking snowglobe in a bottle!  Yes, that’s glitter.

In the bottle…this amazingly cute GLITTER-FILLED bottlethis seriously is too girly for wordsGLITTERBOMB!Resisting the urge to squeeeeeeeeeeheeheeheehee…okay, I think I’m done now…GLITTER!

I want to bathe in it like, bathtub gin sized bath.

In the bottle, it’s like creamy orange hooch.

On my son, citrusy musk, a hint of bubbly.  Not girly at all.

On me, citrusy musk and champagne.  I’m imagining a giant’s champagne flute that’s now sort of a bathtub, and I’m swimming in it!

(Yes, I’m still on about the glitter!  It’s all over my arm, I can’t stand how awesome this is!)

It’s so much fun.

I still have more ZOMG’s to review, but I need to stop squeeing like a girl first because autocorrect is embarrassing me because my giggles are making typing difficult.

 

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from ZOMG Smells.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

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The Not Safe For Work, Kids, Church, Anyone Without A Sense Of Humour post

So…

As I mentioned last post, Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab’s Lupercalia is a grown-up perfume set.

ZOMG Smells also has a limited run that’s mostly for adult senses of humour.

The ones that will get me grounded will be reviewed here, and a separate post for the nice ones.  As such, my son has abstained from reviewing these even though he likes some of them.

My second grounding worthy Lupercalia scent from BPAL(and the fastest censor job I’ve ever done):

BIG RED TUTU(real name at linky…NSFW, etcetera):

Red Leather and Honey

Just the artwork alone would get me in trouble with my beautiful, darling boy who knows I’m posting all of these under censor cuts.

In the bottle:  Honeyed Leather.  Really good honey, and sun-warmed leather.

Note: use a good unscented moisturiser, as most folks I know say the honey poofs quickly.  It happened to me until I slathered on a good unscented moisturiser ten minutes prior to application.

On me: Sweet Honey on the breeze, with that scent of sun-warmed leather.

I’ve also layered it with Dragon’s Tutu(see previous review), and got the smell of eating a dish of spiced honey pears and heavy cream while sitting on a leather blanket.

EDIT: The honey faded after four hours with moisturiser, an hour without.  Still lovely scents.  I’m in the search for a long-term honey note to layer with these so I can enjoy these for more than an occasional wear.

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So ZOMG Smells has an adult humour line full of puns, science, and innuendo.  Once again, censored titles that click over to the real deal.

Smokin’!(NSFW, click the linky):

Cedar, wormwood, Smoke, Red Musk, Benzoin Resin, Oak-aged Cognac, and two Cloves: Bud and Leaf

It’s fiery, much like Nuee Ardente, which prompted me to ask Miss Ariel, “This would be an EPIC hookup.  What will the children be like?”

I’ll let you know when I hear back from her.  Until then…

In the bottle: FIRE!  Seriously.  Smoke, burning trees, the smell of burning acrid sap.  This is a raging fire.

On me:  It starts out fiery, then mellows into an expensive Cognac with a dash of Spiced schnapps, on the rocks, in a chilled glass that has had a dose of the Green Faerie swirled around first, a dark ring of condensation on that old Cedar steamer trunk you’re using as a coffee table.  Really smooth, really potent.

The hip bone’s connected to the…(this one’s NSFW too):

Cedarwood and Cypress, rubbed with Dirt, Bergamot Mint, Bitter Fennel, Resin, and a whiff of Diesel.

In the bottle: Manly sexy mechanic.

On me: A memory.  I remember this old pump and stop on Route 66.  I was little when we took a Holiday using that road, but I could remember the smells of that service station, a hint of black liquorice(Grandma’s and my little sisters favourite) and soft peppermint sticks, dirt swept into a pile by the door(left there because we made a pit stop), the old hardwood counter, the fresh Earl Grey tea the Mechanic had on his desk as he did a quick-check on Grandpa’s old LTD Crown Vic.

Memory in a bottle, and oddly enough, not a perverse one.

Sexy, Naughty…(yup you know it’s NSFW):

Strong Raw Honey, Balsam of Peru, Frankincense, Gingersnaps,  Pineapple, and Mandarin

I’m reminded of that old club song, Sexy, Naughty…not finishing it.

In the bottle: Fruity girly drinks at the club, a splash of scent in just the right place to make the heads turn, and not just because you’re in your hot mama clothes shakin’ it…

On me: Holy carp!  This is amazing.  It’s party in a bottle.  So good, a bit sexy, a bit boozy, a bit spicy, a bit foody, a bit fruity.  This is Girly Umbrella Drink’s bitter rival.  She’s the skanky hot cheerleader to the hot but shy nerdy wallflower.  Love. It.

Georgia…and not the song either.(last round folks, but still NSFW):

Peach, Honey, Muscadine, and Guava shave ice, a Grapefruit Bellini, Neroli, Geranium EO, Gardenia, Lily, and of course a big floofy Iris.    

If you’re looking for a present for Deadpool, I bet this would hit the spot.

It’s a raunchy play on a certain Lady…It’s very classy, despite the name.

In the bottle:  Peach on the Beach.  No, seriously.  Now I want one.

On me: Like the drink.  As it dries, the florals shine without overpowering the fruity boozy smell.

I’m not a peach person, but I love this.

 

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab and ZOMG Smells.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

 

 

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Lovely late Yules, my son has grounded me, and all that jazz.

Sorry folks!  Got the plague that’s been hitting the nation, and spent ordered time away from my smellies.  Bronchitis, and they thought scent would aggravate my sick.  I had to let packages sit.

So I’m half feeling guilty, as my lovely Yules scents were only acquired because the wonderful folks at Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab had come down with the plague that was sweeping the nation…flu season.

On the plus side, I got to order the set of storybook scents I wanted, because they were still up.  Still feel guilty though.

I also acquired a new Carnaval Diabolique scent, and a Lupercalia(their naughty version of Valentines), and gorgeous new samples to try.

Snow White

A chilly, bright perfume: flurries of virgin snow, crisp winter wind and the faintest breath of night-blooming flowers. 

In the Bottle:  Spiced baked Apples and sweetened cream cooling in the frosty air.

On me: How one manages to catch the scent of fresh snow is beyond me, but capture it they did.  I still get apples and cream, but also a hint of minty rose…anyone that’s grown white roses will know what I mean.

On my son: (yes, he’s very comfortable trying on scents clearly set up for women, and it’s amazing).  It’s that snow covered evergreen one associates with Christmas, and fresh, tart apple peel.  It’s by far the darkest turnout I’ve ever smelled on my son, but it’s perfectly masculine.  Very proper.

Rose Red

The perfected Winter rose, dew covered and freshly cut.

In the Bottle: Rose.  Roses you rushed to cover because of the unexpected snowfall, that lovely green scent of a fresh-cut rose at the florists(I used to be one, so I grew familiar with unpacking sleeves of roses, the trick of trimming them under lightly iced water in the coolers so they don’t shock in the shoppe coolers from being treated with cold tap water, which is warmer than how they were shipped in a refrigerator truck, and trimmed at the counters).

My son declined this one.  I expected it, but wow.  I found one he wouldn’t try.  *sniffles*  I’m sort of sad.

On me: My Little Pony butt.  Powdery fake rose.  *cries*  It smells so pretty in the bottle!  Half an hour later it died down to a pale rose scent.  This one’s locket fodder.

The Bear Prince

Shaggy fur, snow-flecked and rose-touched.

In the Bottle:  Ever smell a furry friend come in after playing in the snow?  Take that freezing cold furry scent, and add roses.  It’s lovely.

On my son:  Dreamy!  Creamy Musk with a rose in the buttonhole.  I’m so jelly!

On me:  My Little Pony butt.  After half an hour I got creamy Musk and Rosepetals.  It’s not fair!

The Peacock Queen

In dramatic contrast to the soft innocence of Snow White and the dew-kissed freshness of her sister, Rose Red, this is a blood red, voluptuous rose, velvet-petaled, at the height of bloom. Haughty and imperious, vain, yet incomparably lovely to the eye, but thick with thorns of jealousy, pride and hatred.

In the Bottle: Rosy, Rosy, Rose.  So many roses stuffed into this bottle!  It’s so regal.

My son declined this one too.  I’m really okay.  *sniffles*  I’m feeling bad I chose two he wouldn’t do more than sniff.

On me:  Oh my stars.  This is one serious rose.  Most rose perfumes change on me.  It’s like taking a bottle of Damask Rose water from the icebox and spritzing yourself, then laying down on a bed of roses.  A whole roomful of the most gorgeously outrageously larger than life roses.  From beginning to end rose.

Note:  The first time I tried this, I cried because of the MLP curse.  But then someone made me think about all the rose scents I had tried this week, so I washed my arms in V-8 juice, then warm soapy water, then waited an hour.  My issue was the staying power of these rose scents.

I also tried all three roses together as a final tribute, and wow.  It’s amazing.  Because I had removed the others and had Peacock Queen as the first layer, they combined to form this creamy, snowy, green and musky rose.  It’s brilliant.  They’re magnificent.

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So I love Carnaval Diabolique.  Really, supremely adore it.  Here’s the next one in the collection.

Iulia, L’Artiste du Diable

A chittering buzz rises from a small crowd that has gathered around an opulent velvet-draped tent. Some are fidgeting impatiently; others try in vain to peep within the tent. Within moments, a slim, stunningly handsome man emerges from the entryway to the sound of gasps and scattered applause. His face is lit with fierce joy, and he bows almost smugly to the assemblage. Grabbing a flirtatious blonde from the mob, he kisses her in a rush of mad passion, his arm encircles her waist, and he leads her directly to a nearby opium den. The crowd disperses, and curiosity pulls you forward. You push open the fringed, beaded tent-flap and enter the dimly-lit room. A lovely, voluptuous redhead stands before an ornate antique easel. Her luminous alabaster skin and the phosphorescence emanating from her paintbrush seem to be the only source of light. As you adjust to the gloom, you see that the walls are covered with atrocities: an exhibit of dissolution. The myriad canvases show men and women in various stages of rot and decay, a panoply of indulgence, teeth set in fury, mouths leering in lust, hands grasping greedily.
The scarlet woman turns her gleaming sightless eyes towards you and, in a husky, compelling voice, she speaks:
“Why let the years tear at your youthful splendor? Why let the mark of your sins stain your fine features? Will you let the cold, creeping grasp of time and the toil of temptation mar your visage? Why should the pleasures of our flesh wreak such havoc?”
She leans in close to you and whispers, “Let me capture your soul on this canvas in oil and blood, and you will be beautiful forever.”
White tea, sugar cane, orange blossom, rockrose, lemon balm, white mint, and honey.

In the Bottle:  Sweetened honeyed Citrus Mint tea.  So decadent.

On my son: Honey Lemon tea.  Five minutes later, the Sugared Mint gently drifted in. Lovely.

On me:  Fruit Stripes gum punch to my face.  What the heck?  It turns out that one of my two lockets that I forgot I was wearing, had Carnaval Diabolique in it, which made my nose smell Fruit Stripes Gum.  Once I took it off and washed my neck, I could smell the vibrant Citrus and Mint notes in perfect harmony with the Honey note.  Very elegant.  Unfortunately, I cannot wear it with CD, which makes me a sad Inky.

Dragon’s ‘Tutu'(real name at the link site)

We possess a very sophisticated sense of humor! Dragon’s blood resin, white cream, pear blossom, and white honey.

This got me grounded folks.  BTW, BPAL’s Lupercalia is NSFW, NSFK, NSFC, NSFAWASOH.

My one and only Luper got me in trouble…with my eleven year old.

“Hey Mommy! Moooom!”

“Yes dear?”

“That scent smells really beautiful. Whatcha wearing?”

Me(remembering what put I on and panicking): “Um, I forget?”

My son(Who’s not convinced): Really?

Me(Completely red with embarrassment, hand over mouth mumbling): Dragon’s *mumbles*

My son: “Dragon? Dragon what? Can I try it?

Me(Knowing I’m so very much busted): “I…guess?”

My son(reading the bottle): “So the Dragon is a bonehead. *sighs dramatically* YOUNG LADY, GO TO YOUR ROOM! AND NO MORE BPAL UNTIL YOU CENSOR THIS!” Walks away muttering, “What would GGO say if she saw that? Kids these days.”

GGO is my late Grandmother, who is watching this whole thing and laughing.

So, since I was grounded to my room until I figured it out, here is a laugh for all of you.  I had to censor it, so I remembered a talk I had with a friend regarding getting her super fluffy poochie a tutu, so it became,

Dragon’s Tutu.

This is such an amazing scent on me(on my son too). He said I can keep it now.

In the Bottle: Dragon’s blood, Juicy Pears, Honeyed Milk.

On my son: Pear cream soda.  So delicious.

On me: Spiced poached pears in heavy honeyed sweet cream.

The bottle can say Tutu all it wants…I love this!

Next post will be another series collection of the General Catalogue Imp’s ears they sent me.

TROLLCAT, for those keeping up with news on him, is feeling much better, and even let me warm water bathe him weekly.  He’s taken over my comforter, especially when I want to crawl under it and nap.

This is my blankie, my bed, and my lap.

TROLLCAT showing me he’s boss.

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

 

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Valentine’s day t-minus eight days, TROLLCAT gets a bath, and the scent of gaming.

Gah! Prepping for my child’s classroom Valentine party is not one of my favourite things…especially when the teacher, not remembering the forgetfulness the kids had around Christmas, once again made them responsible for packing general notes home.  The note issued last Friday only arrived this Friday.  I have eight days to gather all these materials.

Post box to hold cards. Boxes of cards unless he is allowed to make them(and there were some teachers in the past that refused to let him–stating that a class of 45 was too big for handmade…which had nothing to do with her.  He did so anyway.).  Treats if chosen.  For once, he asked for permission to bring caprisun drinks.  I’ve encountered friends who think all this is a big waste…I told them as long as it’s my money spent, they’ve got no say.

TROLLCAT had an allergy to something he’s encountered. Itchy skritchy poor kitty is miserable.  Knowing the difficulty of bathing him, I got assistance, and a bottle of rinse-free kitty shampoo.  He smells fluffy and sweet, and is for once, not angry with me.

So as I mentioned in another post, my son ordered us the BPAL  221B Baker Street LE Blue Carbuncle collection, and we got a large number of Imp’s Ears from their GC.  I ordered my son a LE hair gloss from BPTP, and was surprised when it arrived

He wants me to thank them for the Valentine and postcard.

So much love right now! This is why I love independent companies like this!

with all these sweet little touches, and more incredible samplers…this time from a collection I’ve been badly wanting to try.  My son wants me to thank them for the postcard and the Valentine.

I’m a nerd.  I’m a gamer.  I love both digital and tabletop RPG games.  My son(I’m still getting over the shock of his now being eleven), fond of all sorts of board and video games, has begun to show an interest in tabletop gaming.  Both the Lab and the Trading Post have created a masterfully evocative collection to make any gaming session memorable.

RPG SERIES

Vial of Holy Water

The gleaming, indescribably clean scent of purified, ritually consecrated holy water.

In the bottle:  Pure, crisp and clean.  Smell of fresh cold water running free and wild.  Memories of cool mornings camping by the Tippacanoe River came to mind.

On my son: Sweetly aquatic, mildly floral. Close to the bottle scent.

On me:  Water lilies, White peaches, White musk, and honeyed soap.  Can’t get cleaner than that…😜. Not exactly how I imagined it after smelling it in the vial.  I’m thinking it goes in a scent locket for gaming purposes.  I really love it, which only stinks because I’m always playing evil classes.

Druid

A woolen robe infused with the scent of a vast, primordial forest: ancient trees, fertile soil, wild herbs, spring grasses, and burgundy pitch incense.

In the bottle:  Grassy, no kidding! It’s green, green, green.  With a bonus resistance to hayfever.  I’m reminded of that old tune “Wild Mountain Thyme”.

On my son: Damp mossy earth, damp woods, incense.

On me:  Summer herbs in my garden so vibrantly overgrown, not from ignorance, but from an overabundance…it simply grows faster than I can use it.  I’ve accidently run over a bit of it with the mower, so the air it wetly green with grassy, earthy garden smells.  As it fades, I smell the trees, a smudged bit of incense smoke cleansing the air, and a warm jumper.  Treehugger in a bottle.  I love this scent, if not the class.

Half-Elf

White sandalwood, beeswax, white tea leaf, oud, and a hint of sophisticated urban musk.

In the Bottle:  All of my yes.  I absolutely adore the clean, simplicity of it.  Woodsy and minty.

On my son: Tea with mint and honey…and he spilled some on the table.  He smells delicious!

On me:  Heaven.  The sandalwood and tea make an earthy, mossy, minty sort of bliss.  The beeswax gives it a lightly honeyed sweetness.  Musk is usually overpowering on me, but it’s so far down  a very rock bottom note, that it’s perfect.  I’m so in love with this scent!

Halfling

Porridge, kukui nuts, and pastry crumbs.

In the Bottle:  Just like the description.  Tasty.

On my son:  He had to threaten me with no hugs for a week, and I kept finding excuses to sniff him.  My child always smells delicious whenever a foodie scent is involved.

On me:  Warm sweet nutty sweet rolls, and a little magic porridge pot.  Do you think they know about elevensies?

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RPG Atmosphere sprays.  Set the mood in style.  Anybody can have flashy dice or fancy mini’s, cosplay as their characters.  How many can create the scent of a faerie glen, or of a blood chilling drow temple full of acolytes that have just noticed you?

This is the ultimate accessory in role play.  Set the scenes with scent.

FAE FOREST Home & Linen Spray

Mist-shrouded woods: Siberian fir needles, white pine bark, aspen leaf, wild lily, bergamot, wood violet, thimbleberry, sun-star, golden bell, snowdrop, heartsease, and bloodroot.
Ethereal woods.  My son said it’s Schwarzwald’s pretty cousin.  The evergreen and florals meld perfectly making it feel otherworldly.  I’m so going to spritz this everytime someone even suggests the fae in game.  I love it as much as my son loves Schwarzwald.
A profane blend of opoponax, galangal root, dried mosses, wormwood accord, sandarac, frankincense, myrrh, and black copal.
Dear god this is sinful!  It’s bottled evil.  Frankincense and Myrrh usually make me have a headache, but this…this is dark, dank, earthy, funereal, solemn.  If this were a perfume, it would be the one my evil knights would anoint themselves with before battle.  It’s so richly deserving of its name.  I’m nearly out of the Goblin Squirt, as I’m in love with this.  I absolutely have to get a full bottle.  And anyone smelling this during a game better beware!

LICH’S LABORATORY Home & Linen Spray

Hissing vials of acid, swirls of thick incense, creeping mosses, flecks of grave loam, and noxious potions clutter the blackened stone biers of an abandoned burial vault.

Damp, mossy, passage entryway, earthy, loamy, dark scents of the swamp it’s hidden in, thick clouds of choking incense engulfing our intrepid adventurers.  Too late, the high, sweet fumes reach them.  If they turn left, they can move around the laboratory, and catch it unaware…but they did not go left.  Can they escape?

I’ve been told if I ever turn another campaign into a parody of Dragon’s Lair, they will find a way to recreate Labyrinth’s “Bog of Eternal Stench”.  If I get to use these, they might change their minds…maybe.

Once my Unspeakably Evil Temple is empty, this one will be next.  I love it.

 

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

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TROLLCAT is a Cheshire, Mad Tea Parties, and strange weather

So, as I mentioned the other day, we received several free Imp’s Ears from BPAL with our 221B Baker Street “Blue Carbuncle” collection.

I am going to break them down by collections, and set reviews up as we try them.  The first set to review was requested by my son, and are from the Mad Tea Party collection, as he likes the Mad Hatter, as well as the Alice stories.  

TROLLCAT has been playing along, sniffing our wrists, grinning at the oddest of times, yawning widely…I swear he’s part Cheshire…perhaps not.  He’s curled up in a little fluffball napping.

Against Idleness and Mischief

How doth the little busy bee
Improve each shining hour
And gather honey all the day
From every opening flower!

How skilfully she builds her cell!
How neat she spreads the wax!
And labours hard to store it well
With the sweet food she makes.

In works of labour or of skill,
I would be busy too;
For Satan finds some mischief still
For idle hands to do.

In books, or work, or healthful play,
Let my first years be passed,
That I may give for every day
Some good account at last.

Pollen-dusted honey, diligent tonka, steadfast chamomile, and goodly hyssop.

In the bottle:  Like a honeyed treat.  A sweetie to give the wee ones for behaving well.

On my son:  Delicious.  Like Honeyed Chamomile tea made with milk instead.

On me:  It smells very much like a remedy I brew when the cold bug catches me and keeps me wide awake.  I use Hyssop, Elm bark, Nettle(because I’m anemic, and it always bothers me whenever I get anything as minor as a cold), Chamomile, and sweetened with honey.  More medicinal.  

My son joked that I should wear it in my locket as a charm against the sick bugs.  I told him it smells too delicious for that, they might just wish to visit me sooner!

Two, Five & Seven

‘Would you tell me,’ said Alice, a little timidly, ‘why you are painting those roses?’

Five and Seven said nothing, but looked at Two. Two began in a low voice, ‘Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to–’

A huge bouquet of squished rose petals: Bulgarian rose, Somalian rose, Turkish rose, Damascus rose, red and white rose, tea rose, wine rose, shrub roses, rose, rose, rose…

…and just an itty bitty bit of green grass.

In the Bottle: A wild explosion of roses.

On my son:  Imagine if you will, a proper young man, smart pressed trousers, crisp starched dress shirt, vest, and silk tie, with a rose boutonnière in the buttonhole.  That lightly minty floral scent of a proper rose, and a bit of green from where the stem was trimmed for the boutonnière…perhaps also a bit of the greenery wrapped along with.

On me:  That sharp rose scent that only comes from immature white roses, flushed with pale green, as they are too young to open to that creamy purity that white roses have.  They smell green too, with just a hint of rose.  I often encountered young ladies that wanted green rose bouquets when I used to assist in a floral shoppe…my little sister among them.  It is just so magical how they almost seemed to glow in the vase, and the fresh rosy greenness just floats in the air, clean and pretty.

Red Queen

Deep mahogany and rich, velvety woods lacquered with sweet, black-red cherries and currant.

In the Bottle: Sweet and regal, like Creme de Cassis in a goblet.

On my son:  Rich and refined, the fruits melding into the wood to create a gentlemen’s scent, not mawkishly fruited, but elegant.

On me:  At first, it was like ZOMG Smells Red Empress, sweet boozy incense, then after a minute, it turned into this warm Summer evening where I spilled a little Creme de Cassis onto my buffet, the warmth mixing with the cordial, creating this aroma of damp exotic woods and sweet fruits.  I feel regal, much the same as the other scent, and that’s a good thing.  This is a scent I would wear to let the world know I’m a Lady, and I mean business.

 

EDIT:  My son got an addition to Mad Tea Party when I ordered him a hairgloss from the Trading Post

Cheshire Cat

Grapefruit, red currant, dark musk, Roman chamomile, delphinium, and lavender.

 

In the Bottle: Sweet currant, Sweet Chamomile, Soothing lavender

On my son: Tangy citrus and a sharp Lavender softened by a fruited Chamomile tea.  Refined and not girly on him…

On me:  It reminds me of a glass of Creme de Cassis with a dash of bitters sitting next to a honeyed glass of Lavender Chamomile tisane.  …yet very soft and feminine on me.

TROLLCAT says he approves of this, and pounces us out of nowhere.  Yeah, he’s definitely part Cheshire.

The weather has been strange…near freezing one day, raining the next, today it was warm and sunny, and I swear there were mosquitoes, if not for the fact it’s late January.  I felt more like early Spring than Winter.  I’m never going to lose the sick bug if this weather doesn’t decide to behave.  I’d love to grind it to a powdersend it to it’s roomkill it with fire…turn it into a few weeks of snow.

 

** I received these insanely indulgent treats from Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab.  The opinions are my own, because I’m so crazy about them I just need to spread the love.**

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